How nice would it be if you could have a blueprint or even a brief synopsis on what it would be like if you were to date someone. How nice would it be that it before you even asked someone out on a date or for their contact information that you could have the inside scoop into what their communication style looks like, what their definition of consistency looks like, what their love language is and so on and so on. It'd be a gift designed by the gods wouldn't it? and we'd pretty much have dating down to a science. We could toss out those self help dating books and Steve Harvey would have been s.o.l on making sells on his bet selling book: Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man. However, to our misfortune, the grand design of dating simply just isn't that way. With that being said, although I cannot speak for all women, I'm sure that many can attest to and relate to some of the qualities, values and attributes that I'll explain that I've come across or have felt in dating but on a subject that I know like the back of my hand and have more knowledge on...ME.
If I could explain what it's like to date someone like me, consistency would be the first word that comes to mind, if i like it I buy it and if I like him, I'm consistent across the board especially when it boils down to communication. I live a hectic and busy lifestyle, with working and getting my Master's, it's tough to squeeze in time to entertain just anyone so one might imagine how much I truly value my free time and just how picky i am with whom I share my free time with, especially of what little of it I do have. As a result, the biggest insight into if whether or not I even so much as hold some form of interest in someone is if I become inconsistent or not. If I become inconsistent...that is a red flag! and it's done intentionally by NO accident! By nature I am the kind of person that doesn't mind talking to someone everyday and I'm a creature or habit. Im predictable af and make no apologies for it. So when I do have some kind of interest, I will do a damn good job with communicating on a daily bases, but when I stop...or there's a wrinkle in time where I miss a few days, it's because somewhere along the lines, I saw something that set an alarm off with my intuition and made me a bit more cautious with how I approach or deal with someone.
Another aspect is that because I am a transparent person, I value others that are transparent. It costs nothing to be honest! The way I see it is, the field i chose was by no mistake! To be a therapist, you have to be someone that listens attentively, is slow to speak, is not judgmental and is open to both sides of the big and little t's (truths). As a result of that, I'm honest..I may not be in the moment about something because I'm working on how to best to say what needs to be said with a balance of emotion AND logic that considers the other persons feelings, but regardless it gets said and done in the timing that it should. I'm also eager to learn...so sometimes I admit at times I'm beyond inquisitive and its my eagerness to learn about what makes you you. So feel honored! I'm genuine and unapologetically compassionate. I know how to read a room forwards and backwards, so it makes it a lot easier for me to know when someone needs space and when love and attention is needed. I'll match you! I'll match your sense of adventure and need to explore and try new fun and exciting things and I make note of the little and big things that simply make your day and replicate it when you least expect it!
But would a blueprint really be complete...if even the not so great qualities weren't listed? With that being said...as spontaneous as I love being...there are just some last minute things I can't do...if you went on a trip and need a ride back from the airport...don't text me the day of and expect me to be there unless you have exhausted every single possible resource and it's an emergency and Dom is just your last strand of hope! Another one is dates....dates to me sometimes asked at the last minute has a tendency at TIMES, not all the time, to make women feel like they were a last option because other plans of yours didn't fall through. But it's a different story when your officially dating vs in the "getting to know you phase". So if you fly into town and ask me the day of landing on a date...Fair warning...I'm probably going to say NO or give you an excuse! lol I'm more likely to say yes to a proper date if asked in advance...in very rare moods will i say yes last minute..so if I do...you lucked up on that day or maybe I really took a liking to you or some sort.
I'm also impatient about some things and have road rage lmao (what woman doesn't)...I'm good with words but when angered that good quality CAN become a lethal weapon depending upon how frequently an issue has occurred, luckily the therapist in me works hard to make those moments very few and far between. As for anything else...you'll simply just have to ask...
The qualities I've mentioned are a mixture of the beautiful things that make me the human I am and are qualities that many of us women share in common. At the end of the day, i live my life according to the motto, " you make time for what you want to make time for...and if you deem it important, you'll find all the time in the world".As human beings it can be difficult to be open and transparent about what makes you you. So i hope that by writing this and given an open depiction of what I feel is my open blueprint of dating me, Im hoping it inspires other women to be open and unapologetically shameless in expressing how you are in relationships and in turn what your expectations are for them to date and get to know how beautiful you are on the inside and not just on the outside!